POTC Curse of Marital Unexcitement
by choccywoccydoodah
Summary: Captain Jack returns to witness the upcoming wedding, with a favour to ask of the loving couple, while there is a sudden unexpected appearance elsewhere...
1. Chapter 1 The Return of an Old Friend

The Return of an Old Friend

"I heard her dress is imported from Italy!"

"It's going to be SUCH a wonderful day!"

"Oh she's going to look so BEAUTIFUL!"

"So is it true about the affair?"

"Of course not! He loves her to pieces, I thought EVERYONE knew that!"

"I'm going to climb up the wall of the fort to watch it!"

"The Commodore is taking it surprisingly well!"

"Well he can't really do anything about it now can he?"

"Gosh that pirate isn't going to turn up out of the blue is he?"

"And ruin their big day? I do hope not"

As Captain Jack Sparrow skulked through the town of Port Royal, all he could hear was people talking about "The Wedding". Well, to be fair, it was tomorrow. Maybe he had left it too late to turn up. Maybe they would not want him there. No. No. No! Technically, he was the one who brought them together! If anything, they should be grateful to him. Yes. They would definitely want him there.

Jack strolled along the deserted street, checking for any danger, picking up odd pieces of food and change discarded on the side of the street, and finally, he reached the Governor's Mansion. Jack took a deep breath, adjusted his battered hat, and sat himself down behind a small bush, keeping watch for any sign of either Will or Elizabeth.

It took only around 10 minutes before Will appeared from the house, which was lucky, because Jack was hungry again. As Will walked out of the wrought iron gates, Jack reached out his grubby hand, and grabbed at his buckled shoe. Will tripped, not expecting the arm to be there, and fell flat on his face. This is what Jack liked to call the "opportune moment". He picked the kid up and, brushing him down, said, "Had to be done mate." Will stared at him, not believing that Captain Jack Sparrow was standing in front of him once again.

"Jack!" Will said, immediately frowning at the stupidity of that statement.

"Yep. Couldn't miss your big day now could I?" Jack grinned wryly, taking in everything about Will- he had changed. Not massively, but he had. He seemed just as happy as when Jack had last seen him, but he seemed older, even though it had only been four months. He was wearing similar clothes to usual, although he looked less effortless- now, there was not a hair out of place. Probably because he was visiting his future wife and father-in-law. Sweet. The kid wanted to make an effort.

"So I'm really lookin' forward to my best man duties!" Jack said, looking straight at will with a huge smile on his face.

"Oh…er…"

"I knew you'd pick me- seeing as I'm the one who got you two together…" Aha! Jack had adopted his old ways again, and was gesticulating widely, almost boastful of this fact. Will smiled, realising that he was joking. Much to Jack's embarrassment, Will hugged him briefly, then drew back and shook his hand more formally.

"So….how's life?" Will asked, keen to know if Jack had had any more adventures on the high seas- he was pretty sure that was affirmative.

"Mmm, not bad, not bad…" Jack knew Will was eager to hear what he had been up to, and decided to play on this fact.

"So, any…… news?" Will did not want to sound too keen but was dying to know what Jack had done for the last few months.

"Not really no. Nothing to report." Will's face faltered slightly, so Jack said, "Well, apart from the thing in Tortuga." Will's face brightened again, so Jack quickly told the kid how he and the crew of the Black Pearl had sailed back to Tortuga for a while, and how Jack managed to win the entire island in a card game "That's right, a card game!" he laughed. So now Jack had the Black Pearl AND an island to his name!

"Wow. That makes what I've been doing sound really…."

"Bloody boring?" Jack suggested. Will frowned for approximately one nanosecond, then grinned. Jack hadn't changed a bit. Well, apart from the fact that he now owned Tortuga that is.

"Well, most of it has been parties in honour of the engagement, making plans for the wedding, that sort of thing. I'm still a blacksmith though"

"After getting engaged to the governor's daughter, you're in the money, and yet you're STILL playing about with metal?" Jack said, only partly joking.

"I like it! Call it a hobby."

"You're one weird kid, you know that? Weird. So, you gettin' me some food then or what? Lead on!" Jack spun Will round to face the house, and pushed him up the path, following quickly behind.


	2. Chapter 2 The Bride longs for Adventure

The Bride longs for adventure

The future Elizabeth Turner sat in front of her mirror, twirling a perfectly curled ringlet between her fingers. She never really had time on her own nowadays. But now, she was alone at last. She, Will and her father had just finished an early lunch, and now both her father and Will had gone out. So she could just sit back, and enjoy the time alone.

But the funny thing was, she didn't want to. She just didn't enjoy sitting looking pretty all the time any more- she didn't mind it before, but now, after the whole pirate escapade with Jack, it was difficult to get back into the governor's-pretty-young-daughter role. Even planning the wedding was getting slightly old now- I mean, its one thing to be excited about the wedding, but was it necessary for everyone to be planning EVERY tiny little detail- from the underskirt of the dress to the top tier of the cake? Elizabeth didn't think so.

All she wanted was some adventure. Was that too much to ask? Surely not. Obviously the wedding would be the best day of her life, because she would be marrying Will, the love of her life. But she wanted something more than a big white wedding. She wanted adventure. She wanted to sail the high seas again, she wanted to see new places, meet new people, she didn't want to be stuck here in this dead-end life living in close proximity to her father and that idiot Norrington. Maybe if Jack came back…maybe that would change things? She didn't know. But she knew one thing- she needed more. More excitement, more fun, more adventure, more…

"Elizabeth?" Elizabeth jumped, surprised to hear Will's voice from downstairs. Why is he back? she wondered.

"Elizabeth? You'll never guess who's here"

Oh Lord above, thought Elizabeth. Christ, just don't let it be another damn caterer.


	3. Chapter 3 Scarlet

**Author's note: **Hi people, I thought I'd write a POTC fanfic- quite frankly there are too many hp ones! So I thought up a story, and here it is! Sorry I haven't done a comment before lol, this is my first fic. Hope you all like it, and thanks to the commenters!

Chapter 3- Scarlet

"OI! OIIII! In the name of the Lord Scarlet, WAKE UP! I need to clean the floor and you lying on it ai'nt gonna help me darlin'"

A small grunt came from the tatty blanket on the ship's floor. Bobbsy (as he was known on the ship) sighed, reached down, and tugged at the blanket. A hand crept out of the folds and pulled back, and a small groan came from inside. Bobbsy pulled harder. The lump pulled harder. This continued for a few minutes, then in true Bobbsy style, he took a long piece of rope, tied one end tightly around the end of the blanket, and the other round one of the spokes on the ship's wheel. Then, in one quick movement, he spun the wheel as hard as he could. There was a screech from the blanket, as it was pulled across the floor, taking its contents with it. Finally, the lump gave way, and the blanket flew off, to be deftly caught in Bobbsy's hand. He smiled triumphantly.

"Mornin my lovely!"

"You're inhuman! You're pure evil Bobbsy!"

Bobbsy took a bow "Why thank you my dear"

The girl sighed heavily, and shuffled over to her cabin. She opened the door and collapsed into her chair. Just because this had become a frequent occurrence (it happened every morning), it didn't make it any less tiring. Bloody Bobbsy. Scarlet looked lazily around the room, catching sight of herself in the mirror. She sighed, and pulled her dark glossy hair back into a simple plait, leaving a few strands out, for fiddling with. She rubbed her dark brown eyes, in an attempt to wake herself up a bit more, and splashed water over her heart shaped face. She washed herself, pulled on her trusty white shirt and brown trousers, and pushed her feet into her comfy brown boots. Time to face the day, she thought.

She opened the door, a broad, rather fake smile on her face, which showed off her perfectly straight set of white teeth. She bent down towards Bobbsy, who hadn't noticed her presence yet, and shouted "THANKS FOR THE WAKEUP MY LOVELY!" Bobbsy physically jumped, then smiled the smile she loved. Bobbsy was an good friend, who had been with her ever since she'd joined the ship. She'd joined The Swooping Swallow about seven months ago now. Strange name, she knew, but the people on the ship were lovely. She couldn't wish for a better crew. But out of them all, Bobbsy was her best friend. He was like a father, a brother and a friend rolled into one. He was great.

"So where are we?" Scarlet clambered up the rigging to get a better view of their surroundings. Sea, sea, more sea….land! She pulled out her telescope to get a better look. Quite a nice place she thought…quite friendly…nice community…stupid people marching round in suits- they'd be good for a bit of fun…big house and fort… good jetty for mooring the boat…

Bobbsy saw Scarlet looking interestedly at Port Royal. "Port Royal" he said. "Nice place. Not good for us though".

Scarlet, still looking, said "Ahh, you mean they're not too keen on pirates?" Bobbsy sighed.

"That's one way of looking at it." Scarlet looked at him enquiringly. Bobbsy continued.

"Basically, there's this bloke Norrington who hates anyone branded with the pirate mark, and will have them hanged".

"Well then, it's a good job I'm not branded yet!" Scarlet leapt up to the wheel, and shouted "CREWWWW!" at the top of her voice. One head popped out from the crow's nest, a few doors opened and heads popped out of them. There was uproar of "SCARLET?"- It was tradition if the crew was called for them to call the name of the caller (if that makes sense). It was a tradition Scarlet would miss.

"I've got a proposal. I propose that we take a slight detour to Port Royal, so that I can…leave the ship. As you all know, I'm on a mission for answers, and I have a feeling that they're there, in Port Royal. So, any objections or opinions?" Scarlet looked round in apprehension. This was the moment when her whole plan could be demolished.

After a pause, Bobbsy spoke up. "I'll be goin' with Scarlet- can't leave you on your own now can I! He put his arm round her shoulder and smiled protectively. "Any objections?" he asked. The crew shook their heads, and so then started the farewell party. Scarlet looked out to sea, towards Port Royal, and whispered, "I know you're there, I can feel it", and rubbed the silver pendant strung around her neck- a tiny bird, with an S engraved on its body.


	4. Chapter 4 The Pirate Passage

**Author's note**- Well here's another chapter for ya! thanks to the only reviewer lol REVIEW MORE I promise it's going to get more interesting crosses heart

Chapter 4- The Pirate Passage

Jack sat very comfortably at the long dining table in the Swann dining hall. As he ripped a rather large bread roll apart, chewing the chunks noisily with his mouth wide open, all Elizabeth and Will could do was watch in awe- they just could not believe he was here, sitting at their table. It had been months, and they had heard nothing from him. Then again, this was Jack- what more could you expect? Jack finished his roll, wiped the crumbs from his mouth with his sleeve, and leant back in his chair, stretching his arms out behind his head. A contented smile was plastered across his face, as he looked around at his surroundings.

Elizabeth was fidgeting. She fiddled with her fingers, fiddled with her hair, then started fiddling with her dress. What was Jack doing back here? Why was he here? She looked at Will, who was deliberately avoiding her gaze; he knew that if he met eyes with her, she would quickly persuade him to ask Jack what his business was here. And he wanted her to ask for a change.

Elizabeth sighed. She could bear it no more.

"So, Jack," she began, "what brings you to Port Royal?"

Jack grinned. He loved keeping people in suspense.

"WELL" he said, swinging his legs off the chair and leaning across the table, "Couldn't miss your wedding now could I? The blessed event 'n' all!" Elizabeth's smile faltered slightly. Was that really all he was here for? He'd put his neck on the line to watch her walk up the aisle in a posh dress? That wasn't Jack at all, and he knew it wouldn't wash with her, or Will.

"All right, I confess. There is an ulterior motive". Will sat back, trying to pretend he knew all along that Jack wasn't just here to witness the wedding. Elizabeth smiled triumphantly, then looked at Jack expectantly.

"Which I will tell you about later!" Jack grinned. He really did love keeping people in suspense. Will smiled.

"Let me guess…waiting for the opportune moment?" he asked.

Jack took an apple from the fruit basket, pointed at Will with it, and said "Exactly." And that was that. No finding out why Jack was here just yet.

Jack stuffed the apple into his pocket for safekeeping, and got up to leave the table. Elizabeth and Will got up too, to 'walk him to the door'.

"So how long are you planning to stay here Jack?" Will asked.

"Well, y'know, I'll stay for the wedding tomorrow, and then I'll propose my…proposal to you, and leave the next day!" Jack grinned. He knew they wanted desperately to know more, but he wasn't going to give them it.

To keep Jack with them for just a little bit longer, Elizabeth asked him

"Where are you going to stay? You've got to stay out of the Commodore's sight- he'll slaughter you otherwise!" she laughed briefly at the last part, then looked concerned- they all knew this was not an exaggeration.

"luv, I hope you haven't forgotten I'm captain jack sparra! I always have a plan… or at least a place I have a feeling is still here…" and with that, Jack started to pace amusingly along the drive, and took a left at a rather large tree. Elizabeth called after him "Jack, there's nothing down there! I've lived here all my life! I would know if there was one of your hideouts or rum-holes here! I…." she stopped, and gaped at Jack, who was lifting up a paving stone which doubled as a trapdoor. He looked up and grinned.

"Can't believe you never found this!" he jumped down into the hole, so only his upper body was visible. Will and Elizabeth walked over casually, trying to retain their excitement.

"THIS is one of around 30 trapdoors all around the town. It leads to the old pirate passage…don't ask me" he raised his hands in surrender as Will spluttered with laughter "I didn't make up the name, I just use the walkway. Anyway, years ago pirates used this walkway as a direct link from the sea, and their ships, around the town, and to the governor's household, so they could rob it and make a quick exit…sorry Elizabeth my darlin', but that's how it was." Elizabeth raised an eyebrow, slightly annoyed that a load of pirates had got the better of her ancestors and their guards.

"So is it still in use now?" Elizabeth asked.

"God no! I wouldn't have told you about it if pirates were still usin it to get their plunder would I? You don't think im _that _stupid do ya? Nah most pirates nowadays are much less…subtle…"

"Intelligent you mean?" Will grinned "present company excepted of course."

"Cheeky barstard! But yes, that's what I mean. Basically they prefer to storm through towns instead of sneaking under them- they're getting' away with a lot less stuff now they're not using this passage" Jack paused, noticing two figures in the distance "ooh, there's my cue to go- it's your daddy…and bloody Norrington! What a delight. God he looks poncier now than he ever did"

Jack's head disappeared for a moment, then reappeared.

"Right then, I shall see _you _tomorra at the blessed event! Don't save me a seat though eh I'll be watching from…somewhere else" he winked, and in one siwft movement he had disappeared and slotted the 'paving stone' back into place.

Will and Elizabeth looked at each other and smiled. They shared a quick passionate kiss under the blossom tree, and started walking up to meet Governor Swann for dinner. They looked back at the 'paving stone' and Will muttered "That's Jack for you eh?". Elizabeth smiled and said "That's Jack down to a tee."


End file.
